I'm laying in bed trying so hard to be aware right now. I can feel the smoothness of the sheets as they brush against my skin... It really exaggerates how hairy my legs are. Damn I should have shaved earlier. Well at lest I am alone right now so there is no one else to feel them. I will remember to put that on the to do list for tomorrow.
Okay audio sensations... I hear the occasional car pass by outside. It's honestly a soothing noise to me. Wait, that is the sound of carbon monoxide poising our environment. Do I find the sound of mother nature being brutally murdered soothing? I better keep that to myself.
Okay now focus on the visual stimuli... I see the tiny shadows made by the paint bumps on the ceiling. I remember as a child I used to imagine they were monsters and I felt scared at night. Wow, I can at least be grateful I don't deal with that anymore.
Okay focus on sounds again. Mmmmm the sweet sounds of mother nature dying... Jesus the bass
of that passing car is pounding so hard I think I hear it rattling his
license plate. Why the hell do guys think that is cool?
Okay noticing my body sensations... Dammit I have to pee again. I just peed right before I got in bed. I need to quit drinking so much water at night. Just don't think about it. Okay relaxing my shoulders. I feel tension in my neck. It's actually kind of painful and I don't like it. Am I judging my pain? Do I think pain is good or bad? I know the right answer is both, wait it's neither, or maybe it is both and neither at the same time! #fuckyeahmiddlepath What the hell? Did I just think in hashtags?
Shit I keep getting distracted. Okay I need to expand my awareness outside my body. I will think about the universe. I am expanding my awareness to the entire universe. I realize I am a just a speck but still a part of it. Even the planets are specks. I guess that makes me a speck on a speck. Wow that is beautiful. I am putting the universe in my awareness. I am putting the universe in my mind. Maybe my mind is the universe... well my mind is my universe so maybe the universe is a figment of my imagination. Maybe nothing is real! Or is everything else real and I'm not?! Maybe I am enlightened! Or maybe I am disassociating! Or maybe I am both! Goddammit there's that fucking bass again!! Ouch my neck!!